Young Johanna
by Ruetwin12
Summary: Pretty much the solved past of Johanna Barker, with a twist.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: My Nightmare

"Beadle, deadle, dum," the woman sings in the barber shop. She wears a tattered blue dress, and a muddy green hat that covers her face. That's all I can make out of her from my tiny hiding place.

My hiding place is in a trunk, and all I know is I'm hiding. Only I don't know what I'm hiding from. The woman opens a small drawer and finds a sown doll. She begins to cradle it as if it were an actual baby, then starts to sing as well.

Soon after her lullaby ends the door to the barber shop opens with a ring from the bell that hangs over it. Then a man with a white strip in his black hair and an odd eye walks in.

"What are you doing in here?" he asks the woman is a low angry voice.

The woman stops dead, and places the doll on the lid of the trunk I'm in. The woman mumbles and stutters as she tries to explain herself. The man just gives her a cold stare that could freeze ice **(A/N: Don't give me any crap about that, it's a saying. Enjoy:)**

"Why are you here," he reiterates under his breath. A razor blade slips out of his shirt sleeve and into his hand, and I can tell that he's not going to give her a shave.

"Please sir, I came to find some one," she please. But the man did not back down.

"Who?"

The woman now has a sudden interest in her shoes, but her act only boils the anger inside the man.

He takes a step closer, "Daughter," she mumbles in an insane tone, "Johanna."

Her comment takes me aback, she said I'm her daughter. But that can't be right, my mum died when I was being born. As Turpin, my adopted father, said. That's all I can get out of him, because he tells me not to ask questions but to answer them only.

The strange man doesn't stop though, even when she told him what she knew.

"Liar!" the woman mumbles and stutters and he raises his knife closer to her throat.

I scream and the rolling thunder wakes me. I claw frantically trying to get away from the pillow that took me to that horrid place. I glance out of the window and stare into the stormy night in deep thought. Dreams about my mum are frequent, only when I see her she is pale and beautiful with yellow hair holding a baby I take is me. And the man I saw is entirely new.

I try to remember what I can, which isn't a lot. My name is Johanna...that's all I have. I don't even know my last name! I refuse to take my "father's" last name but I must when I write my name.

A small knock sounds on my door, but instead of answering it I shrink back into my covers fearing that something unpleasant might be behind that door.

"Johanna?" says a familiar voice. A gale of relief washes over me. The door opens and my nurse Carren steps into the light. She is the only person I trust in this entire household, she has taken care of me for as long as I can remember, "are you okay?" she asks in a soft voice.

I nod in trepidations, she sits on the side of my bed and warms my insides with her comforting green eyes, "I saw her again, Carry. Only it seemed like it was in the future, but that isn't possible. My mum and dad are dead, aren't they?"

The light in her eyes disappear by my question only leaving distress and confusion "Johanna," she says, "Your mum and dad's deaths were a mystery, no bodies were found and- I shouldn't be telling this to a seven-year old. Just try to get some rest," she kisses me on the fore head then walks towards the door.

Before she can open the door, "Can you tell me a story? Please?"I give her a pleading look that could be compared to a lost puppy's.

Carry shakes her head and lets out a sigh and re sits at the side of my bed. She starts to stroke my hair and smiles at me, "I don't know any stories."

"You could make one up," I suggest.

"You really want to hear a story? Don't you," I nod frantically, "Oh alright. So there was this man, he was a barber and a pretty good one at had this wife, and she was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful in London. Well they had a daughter and for them life was perfect, they would almost always be out in the spring. They would walk in the gardens with their daughter and were the happiest in town. But another man loved the woman, and he was jealous of her husband so he framed her husband for a crime and caused him to be sent away. The man forced himself on the woman which caused her to go mad, but he adopted the daughter and kept the daughter locked up so she would never find out what he did to her parents. But as she grew older and more beautiful she would past the time by staring out of her window. One day she found a young man and they fell in love, and she was clever. Every day she would see the boy through the window and sing secrets about the house hidden in songs. Then she sent him the key to the house, and while the man was off at work the boy unlocked the house and they escaped. They started a family and lived happily ever after."

"What ever happened to her parents?" I ask.

"She doesn't know what happened to them, so she never went looking for them," Carry gets up and heads slowly for the door.

"That doesn't sound like a happy ending to me," I say innocently. Carry lets out a small laugh and shuts the door


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: When One Door Closes, Another Opens.

**(A/N: I'm going to change the name of Johanna's nurse to Caroline because I have a neighbor named Carren and it'd just be awkward)**

5 years have passed and I still cannot get that story out of my head, but every night when I'd wake up from a disturbing dream I'd ask Carry to tell me that same story.

Now today is my birthday and I am turning 12, and we made it tradition to play chess every year at 9:30 am. And this year I will beat her! I get the chess board from under my bed and set up the game the way Carry taught me, after everything is perfect I wait at my bed eager to start.

I wait for hours, and decide to give up on her after 1:55 pm. I walk down stairs and look for Carry, but only found Turpin talking to Beadle Bamford.

"Child," says the beadle a bit reluctantly. Turpin turns my way and his gray eyes have bags under them and his hair is rumpled, making him look as though he hasn't slept in days.

"Johanna dear, what are you doing down here?" he asks.

"I was looking for Caroline," I say timidly.

"Who?"

"My nurse, brown hair, and green eyes?"

Turpin stares into deep space, "Ah her, I'm very sorry Johanna. Caroline has been sentenced to Australia."

He starts talking to Beadle again, but I don't move from the room. What could Caroline have done to send her to that retched place? I may be twelve but I know about things some other girls might try to stay away from.

Turpin realizes that I am still in the room, but he sends me away with the flick of his hand. Only I don't budge, "What was Caroline's crime?"

Turpin doesn't answer, but he completely ignores me. And now I have to use that word that my tongue knows is false, "Father," that gets his attention right away, "what did Caroline do to have been transported to Australia?"

"Well, if you must know," Beadle Bamford begins, but Turpin cuts him off.

"She was arrested because she was influencing young girls falsely."

"She wasn't influencing me, she was doing what you hired her to do," my voice raises a little, which isn't very lady-like. Turpin looks at me dumbfounded and before he can scold me I run upstairs tripping over my blue dress more than twice.

Once I cross the threshold I close the door and sit on my bed crying. How could he do this to me? Why would he do this? Carry was the only thing that kept me from jumping out a window. That just gave me the thought to look out my window, I stare out of it and see children my age playing. Oh how I wish I could go outside, but Turpin says that there are evils of the world that I should stay away from. That I'm better off inside reading my books, or just thinking. Well I've certainly thought of enough dreams of escape, because he is no father. He is a warden of my prison.

A girl my age sees me in my window, she waves to me and I give a small wave back. She beckons for me to come outside, but I shake my head no. She doesn't know that I am only able to stare longingly out my window. WAIT, my window is the only thing that leads outside that I have complete access to. I open the window, flinching at every creek until it is open the entire way. **(A/N: Yeah, Johanna is going to be a little OOC but I'm going to make her more adventurous. :))** Once it's open I look both ways around my room to make sure that Turpin nor Bamford are watching me. Then I put the hem of my dress in between my legs then climb feet first out of my window. Once I get half of my body out I turn to find the ledge beneath me then slide down the shingles of the roof until I get to the rain spout. I repeat what I did to get out of the window with my dress and slide down until my hands hook the edge. Then I just jump down with ease.

I did it! I'm free! But while I'm having the time of my life a poignant reminder fills my head. At some point I'll have to go back, mostly before Turpin decides to check on me, or when he and Bamford are out and about. The girl I saw in my window comes up to me and smiles. Unable to make word I just give a quick smile and look at my feet.

"Hi," she says, "My name's Rose. Roseanne Perry really but I like Rose. What's your name?"

Oh great. The question I dread the most, "Johanna," I mumble, it was probably too quiet to hear but that's all I know.

"What's your last name?"

I shrug.

"You don't know your own last name?"

I nod no.

"Are you daft, or something?"

I nod no.

"Then why aren't you speaking?"

"Because I'm nervous," I finally say, "and you sure ask a lot of questions," I say with a slight giggle.

"I want to know things, like why you don't know your own last name. Are you an orphan?"

"No," and here comes that word, "I'm a...ward. To Judge Turpin, but he never talks about my family so I don't know my last name."

"Well, why don't you take your charge's name?"

Now this was a question I only answer to Carry, but this girl Rose does seem nice, "Because he is more of a warden than a father. Besides Johanna Turpin will give me too much attention."

"What would make Judge Turpin so terrible?"

This question makes me laugh, "Did you not see what I had to do to get outside. He's over protective, he keeps me locked in my room all day, he tells me not to ask questions about my family or anything from my past I don't know, and he sentenced my nurse for telling me stories!"

The look on Rose's face tells me that she wasn't at all expecting what I told her, nor was she expecting me to start crying. Because that's what I did, I start to cry at the thought of Carry or the thought of 12 years with no friends that are also children. Almost every day I'd ask Turpin if I could play with the other girls, and every day I'd be locked in my room with only my non-singing lark until morning.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry," says Rose trying to cheer me up, "I didn't know it upsets you that much. I didn't know being a ward was that bad, if it makes you feel any better."

I sniffle and look straight at her brown eyes. They were sincere and friendly, "I should probably be getting back now," I wave to her good-bye and head back to the manor.

Right when I get to the manor I hear Turpin's voice from behind a curtain, "I should probably check up on Johanna, she was so sad and frightened."

I gasp, he was going up to my room and he'd find it empty. I climb the architectural design until I get to the rain spout and haul myself on the roof. Then hike the shingles like a mountain until I get to my window, my heart pounds faster and harder as Turpin's steps get closer to my door. I climb through the window head first, not caring about my dress, and somersault into the area shutting the window quickly then sit on the chair out looking the town.

Once Turpin opens the door I am completely in character, "Johanna? Goodness child, have you been crying?"

"Excuse me?" I wipe the tears from my eyes then force a smile, "I'm sorry for raising my voice, it wasn't proper."

"Child, the beadle and I were talking and we came to an agreement that you should know your true name," my smile has become true now. He is finally going to tell me something important that solved one piece of my life's puzzle.

"What swayed you to tell me this?" I ask innocently, but trying to hide my excitement is extremely difficult.

"Well, it has come to my attention that you wish to use your own last name when writing. So after a tremendous negotiation...your real name is Johanna Barker."

Before another word could be spoken, Turpin hastily leaves my room with a single motioned flick of the arm shutting my door.

I see Rose in the window waving at me, and I suddenly remember her deep content to know my last name. I open the window and poke my upper half of my body out, "Rose!" I yell quietly **(Is that even possible)** "It's Barker!"

She smiles at me then skips off on her merry way. I close my window then lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Barker, Johanna Barker, Ms. Barker. I lay there thinking of all the ways to say Barker. Because that's my name, Johanna Barker. J-O-H-A-N-N-A B-A-R-K-E-R.

Maybe Turpin does have a bit of heart. A bit.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Locked

**(A/N: Thanks for reading, and sorry it took so long to make this chapter. I've run this thing through my mind so many times, but that's difficult when dealing with an innocent proper girl when you are a tom boy. Wish me luck and PLEASE REVIEW!)**

It's been a year now, since Turpin decided to tell me my true name. I still write my name just to see it. Johanna Barker, that's me! And I still see Rose, and I still climb out my window. Only it's starting to get harder as I grow bigger through age, **(No I'm not calling her** **fat!) **but even though I may be slower at times Turpin still hasn't caught on! Though at times, I still look behind my shoulder fearing I'm being followed by The Beadle.

While I glance out my window, I notice Rose waving to me. That's my cue. I go through the motions **(If you skipped any chapters, how she escapes is on 2. I'm just too lazy to re write** **it.) **to climb out my window then meet with my friend.

"You get better at that every time," she tells me with a smile.

"I just get more nervous every time though. Afraid Turpin will...you know," I tell her this all the time how I fear that Turpin will discover that I escaped my room.

Rose lets out a sigh. Mostly because she hears this anxious tale almost every day, "Johanna, if Turpin were to have found out he would have tighten your locks and board up your window. The only thing that you have that lets you come close to human contact and..." What is she doing? She's only making my anxiety even worse! What will I do if he does catch me? Rose seems to catch my worried eyes, "and I'm not helping, am I?"

I shake my head. Rose puts her hands on my shaking shoulders, and looks me in the eyes wearing a calming smile, "Look Johanna," she says softly, "if Turpin were to have found out he'd have said something. We just need to be careful."

"Johanna?" says a familiar voice. I wince and scrunch my shoulders in a failed attempt to become unnoticed, "Johanna Barker. What the devil are you doing outside."

I turn around on my heels and open my eyes. The baby-faced Beadle Bamford is looking quite shocked, "How did you even get out?"

I remain silent.

"I must tell Judge Turpin!"

Before he could walk off, Rose and I tug at his arms until he turns back to me, "No, please! Please don't let Turpin know, he will kill me for sure. Please Beadle Bamford, I beg you."

"I'm sorry Ms Johanna. But keeping secrets from the honorable judge is treason, disloyalty, I cannot betray him," Bamford grabs Rose's and I's wrists and drags us into the house.

...

"This is a complete outrage!" my charge yells at us, "Any other girl I'd expect this kind of trickery from, but not you Johanna."

"Why am I not like any other girl?" the last part started to get me steamed.

"Because you're -"

"A ward. Is it because I'm a ward?" my interruption was not only extremely improper, but also earns me a smack in the face. The shock sweeps me off my feet I am suddenly on the floor.

"Johanna!" Rose rushes to my side.

"I'm sorry," I manage, "I did it because I wanted to learn. All my books say that to learn something you need to go out and experiment. The books you give me."

Turpin is about to strike me again but his hand stops as he ponders this, "It seems this is more my foolishness."

"So I can resume being outside?"

This question makes him bellow in laughter, "Of course not. Your door will be locked 24 hours a day, but can only be opened from the outside. As for your window, it'll be locked too but not blocked," his eyes glide over to Rose's direction. Knowing this can't be good I get in front of her spreading my arms protectively blocking his path.

Instead of yielding, Turpin pushes me aside and backs Rose into a corner, "As for you. You'll be sent to Australia for your crimes."

"No!" I grab at his arched back and he turns, "Don't! Do whatever you want with me, but please don't harm her in any way. Besides, you can't send all of your problems to Australia."

His eyes face back to Rose, "I never want to see you on my property again," Turpin harshly grabs Rose's arm and pushes her out of the room.

Eyes watering, she looks back at me worried, "It's okay," I say softly, "I'll be fine."

But alas, today isn't my day. I thought that I'd be sent to my chamber instantly, but Turpin took it upon himself to discipline me. I'm taken below to a basement and I'm tied to a post facing away from Turpin. The back of my dress is buttoned down revealing the harsh cold on my bare skin.

On my way in I saw a whip and though I've never been whipped but it does not take a genius to tell you it's excruciatingly painful.

With every lash against my back comes a scream, but the stinging across my skin is nothing compared to the stinging in my heart. **(Yeah, a bit cheesy. Somewhere from sharp cheddar to jalapeño jack.)** The sting of knowing that I'll never see Rose again, not even from my window. He says that he's protecting me, but I've spent a year outside and nothing has horrified me. All except for Turpin himself.

The slashes of the whip seem slow yet at the same time are going by fast, but by the tenth slash my eyes gloss over and I slump into semiconsciousness. My hands are unbound and the last thing I can remember is being gathered like a babe in arms then being carried upstairs.

My recurring dreams of my mum were never pleasant. They always had a screaming woman who once looked happy but then howls in despair, like she's lost someone. Now though, I'll take those dreams I had as a tyke any day. Now my nightmares are full of pain, my pain or my mum's pain. They flood with gore and echo in screams of anguish and terror, a crying child without a mother. I wake up in the same place I was in when I fell asleep, in someone's arms. I notice that the person who is carrying me is...Turpin.

He enters my chamber then sets me on the bed. Before leaving, he turns to me and says in a low voice, "I hope you've learned your place," then he shuts the door harshly and leaves me alone in the silent room.

Anger boils up in me. I can't take it anymore! I can't take the insolation anymore, the loneliness, the lack of human companionship. And I can't take Turpin anymore. I charge at the door and hammer it with both my fists, I just let it out. All the suppressed anger and hatred I've been holding in the past 13 years is pouring out like a pitcher of water.

My energy starts to slip away and the only thing left is depression and pain. I slide down the door with my back to it, and rest my head on my knees. Then start to cry.

I cry for hours which only feel like minutes until my head get's heavy and eyelids droop. Though I don't have the energy to climb into bed I simply lay in that position, then fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Revealing

**(A/N: I found this chapter very difficult, because I couldn't think of anything after the last chapter. I hope you guys like it! All four of my readers :) No really, tell me what you guys think. And writing ideas are always welcome! R&R)**

I'm dreaming. In my dream I see a woman, she's pale with beautiful yellow hair. In her arms is a small sleeping baby, whom's hair is so bright it's practically invisible and skin that matches the young woman's.

My eyes stay in contact with the woman's, but her eyes never find mine. Heck, she doesn't even know I'm here, "Mum?" I say in a hushed voice.

Mum just continues rocking baby me in her arms, not hearing my words. A lullaby starts to escape her lips and I slightly begin to remember.

_"There was a barber and his wife  
And they were beautiful.  
A happy barber and his wife  
Their little daughter was their life  
And she was beautiful."  
_

The lullaby brings tears to my eyes, "That's you Johanna," my mother whispers, "We love you. Johanna, Mummy loves you. Daddy loves you, so much," Mum kisses my - or kissed my - or kisses little me's - you know what I mean. Anyway she kisses past me's forehead and hugs me closer to her chest, "Johanna, I promise that nothing's going to harm you. Not while I'm around." **(Yeah, I know that's Tobias' song. Deal with it :)**

Suddenly that happy image disappears and is left in complete darkness. A laugh, a terrible and vicious bellow of joy fills the darkness followed by a woman's scream. The scream was a combination terror and pain, it was the same voice as Mum's. I want to scream 'Leave her be!' but my voice wouldn't work. While the screaming carries on, cruel snobby cackling blended into the sonorous sounds.

The face of my dreadful charge comes into the scene, his smile seems sly and perverted like he seemed pleased with his actions. A bit too pleased if you ask me.

The scene changes to a small store, and a woman who looks like my mum is rummaging through the shelves. This woman did look like my mum, but her yellow hair is now tangled and has grey streaks in it from stress. My first thought is 'what happened to her?'

"Lucy?" another female's voice comes into the display. She was also pale but unlike Mum she had black hair cut short and puffed up in a way with a red ribbon running through it, "Lu what are you doing here?"

Mum's face turns sharply, and then I could tell that wasn't my mum. Her once pure skin is now dirty and wrinkled, and her once happy face is only showing the feelings of hurt and anger, "I'm done Nellie," Mum begins, "I've had it with him, And I'm going to put an end to it."

She picks up a small vial with a brownish liquid inside, by doing this she makes Nellie's eyes widen, "Lucy don't. Put the arsenic down, do you know what will happen if you drink that stuff?"

"Yes I do! I just want it to end, to stop the pain. I does seem poetic though, doesn't it," Mum unplugs the poison and raises it to her lips. Nellie rushes over to Mum and grabs her wrist.

"What about your year old kid Johanna? Who's going to care for her, Lu listen to me!"

"She's so strong Nellie," a tear slips down Mum's face as the same goes for me, "She's so much like her father, Johanna will find a way."

Mum tips the vial into her mouth and the liquid pours down her throat, "NO!," Nellie and I's voices yell in unison. I try to move but my feet forbid me, I can only stand there watching my mother struggle in torture as she begins to die. Nellie swiftly runs out of the apothecary screaming for help, leaving me desperate to come closer to my mum.

I struggle to open my eyes and wake from that horrid nightmare, once I regain my consciousness gravity pulls me from the side of my bed and I fall. Although it's a short drop it seems longer, but the sharp ache from my head to my teeth still makes me gasp in pain. Either the gasp is from pain or surprise.

_"Why would my mother choose death over her own daughter,"_ I think_, "What would cause her to do such a thing?"_

Instead of getting up, I just lie there and stare up at the ceiling. I guess I know how my mother died, but how could I have seen that if it wasn't a memory? I never saw my baby self, which is usually what lets me know it's a memory, and my nightmares are mostly memories.

A small light in the distance breaks my thought bubble, and it wasn't the stars of the night sky. No, London seems more dreary and cloudy every day. The only thing you can see at night is the faint light of the moon, my room is always dark at night. So a small light is strange; I pick myself off from the floor and follow the bright streak.

It seems like a carved small hole is in my wall, half covered by a painting. That's peculiar, who would carve a hole in my wall? In fact, how could they carve it without me knowing? Two years ago Turpin locked me in my chamber forever.

Suddenly heavy footsteps erupt from the end of the hallway. I quickly and quietly jump back into bed as the footsteps come closer, and as they do my breath speeds and my heart beats into my ears. As soon as I think my head will burst with suspension the steps stop, but a small voice that sounded really close makes me jump a mile out of my skin.

"One day," it says, "One day you will be mine Johanna Barker."

I stay there, under my covers, not daring to move a muscle or even breath for hours. The voice sounded like Turpin's a bit, but that's silly. WAIT! The stern warnings about the outside world, the locking me in my room 24/7, the statement about me being _his_, THE PEEP HOLE IN MY ROOM! Oh Lord, Turpin is in love with me!

That is extremely inappropriate, one: I'm 15, two: I'm not old enough_ by law_ to wed, three: he's four times my age, four: he locked me in my room for maybe the rest of my life (I mean if he finds a way to force me to marry him is he going to do his vows through the door!?) and five: this is the most important I DON'T LOVE HIM!

I find my need for sleep has completely left the building...okay the country. The only need I have now is a need to escape.


End file.
